domenica 16 luglio 2017

I can't tell the difference

It happens at times that I can't tell the difference between my anxiety and my physical tiredness and it's hard to understand if it's better for me to stay at home or go.
Sometimes I go.
Sometimes I stay at home.
I feel weak but I think it's connected to what I feel inside.
Is there something that makes me feel really motivated or strong, or healthy?
I don't know it anymore.
I know this travel will change me and I'll try to enjoy every part of it.
Can't wait to see my people.
People I hardly met in my life, but to whom I am connected.
It's terrific, isn't it?
I don't know if I'll have problem with their English, I never practiced mine a lot, here, except from social networks.
And I can't wait to talk. To laugh. To cry.
I can't wait to be on that flight.
I never thought it'd be so soon.
Just think that in February I was scared as fuck to fly to France o England.
In June I was scared as fuck to fly to Germany.

What's happening to me?
Why this change?
Am I really changing?
I can't wait to be there.

My psychologist once said to me "Anxiety is not forever" and.. it turned to be like this.
I cry a lot during these days, but I know they're good tears.
Maybe one day I'll make it to Japan.
Maybe one day.

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